Seeking Space for Yourself as a New Mum

Today, on World Mental Health Day, I want to speak honestly about something many mums and birthing people feel but rarely voice: overwhelm, overstimulation and the frustration of having no space or time that feels like your own. 

Becoming a mum to two toddler tornadoes is the best thing I’ve ever done... but some days, it’s a lot. 

I’ve always been sensitive to sensory things – loud TV, unexpected phone calls and certain people eating too noisily. It’s like my nervous system doesn’t have a dimmer switch; everything comes in full brightness. 

As a hypnobirthing teacher, I help parents-to-be learn ways to feel calm, build confidence and strengthen connections in pregnancy and birth. Yet my own journey has been shaped by learning to recognise and regulate my emotions.

And now I’m responsible for teaching my little ones to regulate theirs – which is hilarious, because it seems I haven’t even mastered it myself! (ahhhh!)

Add breastfeeding, sleepless nights, poorly toddlers, and the constant buzz of family life, and the sensory overload can sometimes get too much.

Breastfeeding both my boys has been one of the most beautiful experiences of my life, but it’s also meant never truly having my body to myself – being their comfort, their food, their safe space, all at once. 

It’s so important to remember to look after yourself. 

It’s essential for partners, dads, family and friends to understand how even a few minutes of true space can help a new mum.

There was a moment during my first maternity leave when I realised I hadn’t left the house alone for three months, baby boy had been with me every single time. It wasn’t good for my mental health. 

A ten-minute shower alone, without needing to toddler-proof* the room or hearing phantom baby cries, can reset your whole nervous system. 
 
*If you’re unsure what “toddler-proofing" involves, it’s essentially removing anything that can move from the floor, putting the toilet seat down and taking the loo roll off... unless you fancy the joy of rewinding an entire roll back onto the cardboard tube. 

A fifteen-minute dog walk in the fresh air, listening to your favourite songs or a podcast, can help you relax and reset. 

A half-hour solo trip to Sainsbury’s can put a spring in your step. I remember eating a sandwich in the supermarket car park after having my first baby; it was honestly the highlight of my day. 

These little moments aren’t luxuries; they are lifelines. When you’re touched-out, sleep-deprived and overstimulated, this brief alone-time restores your ability to regulate and be the mum you want to be. 

Supporting maternal mental health doesn’t always mean grand gestures (though I wouldn’t say no to a spa day…). Sometimes it’s as simple as saying:

“I’ve got the baby, go take a shower and chill for an hour.” 

And, somewhat ironically, as I sit here writing this... hoping for a smidge of quiet time... I can hear my entire family trundling up the stairs. (sigh)

The perfect, slightly exasperating reminder of how hard it can be to find even a sliver of space to just be. 

In England, ~ 26% of women experience a perinatal mental health condition, that’s roughly one in four new or expectant mums. 

Despite growing awareness, access to specialist support remains uneven. Over 57,000 women accessed care last year, yet gaps persist across regions of the country.

The stakes are heartbreakingly high: suicide remains a leading cause of maternal death in the UK during the first year after birth. 

For people who are naturally more sensitive – sometimes called Highly Sensitive Persons (HSPs) – the perinatal period can feel especially intense.

Their nervous systems take in more information, react more strongly to stimuli like sound and touch, and need more time to recover. Add in the hormonal rollercoaster after birth, and it can take time to adjust. 

But this sensitivity isn’t a flaw – it’s a trait that, when recognised and supported, allows for deep empathy, intuition and connection with our new little humans! 

The key is finding enough space and balance to make sure that sensitivity doesn’t overwhelm you. 

If you’re a new mum feeling overstimulated, touched out, or one loud noise away from tears, you are not broken. Your body and mind may simply need you to pause for a second. 

And if you love or live with a new mum, please do consciously create small moments of space for her. 

Sometimes, all it takes is a ten-minute shower to reset and recharge... without a little person watching you, or you feeling like you need to watch them.